l| a time to be silent and a time to speak |l

Leave Me Alone?

During a conversation with a friend today, she commented that i am a committment-phobic. Not sure if she meant it matter-of-factly or as a casual remark (prolly the latter). She arrived at that conclusion after i said that i think i can live alone and explained why i'd prefer a serviced apartment over a house owned by me.

i had experienced living alone at my brother's place before, that time borrowing his vacant premise to revise for an exam (the 'A's, i think). Though only for a few days, it was pretty bearable. What i didn't enjoy were eating alone (all the time!), having no one to talk to (or laugh with when watching the tv) and a silent fear of having to fend off cockroaches, or worse, burglars (my room was just next to the corridor). But loneliness and silence (which ironically was what i needed then) were overcome to a certain extent by calling friends and entertaining myself with the tv and music. At least for now, it seems like living alone is less stressful than having to live with someone...

Passing by a serviced apartment once, i commented that it would be nicer to live in such places than in a house, even if it's under my name. Besides the chic-looking facade, the logic (to me) is that i don't need to 'service' it (and the person who does it regularly doesn't stay with me like how some domestic helpers have to), i think i enjoy the flexibility it offers as a 'liquid asset' vs a fixed asset (ha, people who know these terms better than i do will prolly knock my head over the flippant usage), and the sense of security it offers. With a serviced apartment, i can move to another location whenever and wherever i want, without having to worry about mortgages or furniture and decor. And while people take comfort in owning things (or people, for that matter) and latch their security on something which they think is permanent, i need not fear losing something that is temporal or not mine. A fire can burn down the place for all i care (as long as i don't have a stack of notes hidden under my pillow~). Well, you get what i mean.
In any case, this scenario will only happen if i'm rich enough to afford it, of course. Ha.