l| a time to be silent and a time to speak |l

   i .miss. my childhood, my teenagehood, my carefree-dom, days when closed ones were close and dependable, when waking up is looked forward to because of cartoons and toys, school days which are structured and predictable, times of no-fear and ignorance, limited choices when i need it and unlimited choices when i don't want to be restricted because of my (un)qualifications, the kiddish anticipation and warmth on the eve of CNY, the purpose of family dinners and reunion dinners, being happy for the tiniest reason, silly cards, being un-sceptical, not being stuck in dilemmas, my grandpa's offer of rocher choc during CNY, non-pretence, being sure of myself and knowing 'i can' and 'i want'...


      i .think. too little, too much, people should vaporize, maybe life should come with a remote control, un-civilization and un-development may be good for all of us.


         i .wish. stars would be brighter, for miracles daily, that everyone knows Jesus, money isn't an issue all the time, we were still practising barter trade or using cowrie shells, i have more courage and love and confidence and joy, people would think of others more often than themselves, carebears and gummi bears and silly cartoons that we used to love would be back on TV again, that my world is really beautiful, that your world is beautiful, violence will vaporize together with humans.