l| a time to be silent and a time to speak |l

Superficiality

It's Good Friday today, and a non-work day. Been a short week this week, 'cos I took Tuesday off as well.

Weeks tend to pass quickly these days. Maybe I haven't been reflecting on the things that happened and so it seems that not much has happened.

It's clockwork during the day; wake, wash, dress, work, eat, joke, smile, travel, home.

Sometimes a smile is genuine. Other times, it's a superficial behaviour to just get by. To look ok and doing fine, so as to avoid questions and awkward moments of silence. People have enough problems of their own to genuinely care too much.

I wonder why nights always have a more sombre effect than the day. The dark sky and silence in the room just feel like they are devouring my small self. No one is there to listen. The loneliness just gets louder instead. I can only dig into my pillow and squirm under the covers, hoping to fall asleep quickest possible and forget about things for a while. Then, wake up to another day.

Makes me dread going to bed nowadays. The beginning of an insomniac? I hope not.