l| a time to be silent and a time to speak |l

In the Mood for (Multiple) Bloggin'

Crunch Time
Finally, I'm gonna bid farewell to my dial-up and pay about 6 times more for a 10mbps connection. Thanks to the lure of a White Apple, packaged as a "free" gift - which I know is essentially given to me first but being paid in installments. In any case, the temptation was too great, especially when I was pressured to make a decision there and then at the overly crowded (doesn't Suntec have a limit as to how many people can go up the 4th and 6th level halls?) IT show and give my aching feet (already stuck in there for about 6 hours when the initial intention was to get out within 2 hours!!) a break.

Meanwhile, good things are worth waiting for. I'm still waiting for them to call and arrange for a delivery of my Apple (dream come true!). Crunch!

Guilt Trip
Sometimes, Christianity is so real. I don't know, but I think my conscience awakened or grew more sensitive after I choose to call myself a Christian... about 10 - 11 years ago. Right and Wrong (according to biblical principles... or whatever we think we understand about them) become stark to me. Or maybe that's due to the dwelling of the Holy Spirit in me. Sometimes, I wonder if I chase the Spirit out when I fail Him? But I feel convicted and struggles when my flesh creates a wreckage against my spirit.

I think sometimes too, that my brain/ mind expects too much... or isn't as strong as my flesh. My mind tells me that I should practise guitar often... but I fail to do so. Bad flesh. In the end, my mind sends out self-disappointed and I-feel-embarrassed signals to myself when I'm still under-performing after almost one year under training. SIGHz.

Despite having lived slightly more than a quarter of a century now, I still wished (like when I was a juvenile) that I were a more confident or able person. I still disliked my own skin, sometimes. I wish that I were more xxx, yyy, zzz. Honestly, I can't remember a strong moment when I felt confident... Strange. I thought adulthood might feel different... not supposed to moan as much and whine as an adult ... no? =/

Jay-ly Beans
A pun for eye candy... on 19 Jan 08. =) My first Jay concert (another 'Finally' thingy)!



Once Lost, Now Found
I dropped my hp in the cab today. Though I'm not usually a careless person to misplace important things like my wallet and handphone (okok, I'm now notorious in the office to misplace my jackets...), it was the 2nd time that I left my hp in the cab. But I'm always quick to discover the lost... so I called my number and thought it was gone case when the person on the other line hung up. I tried again and at the 3rd call, an aunty picked up. Turns out that she stays a coupla blocks away from me and was at her friend's place for mahjong. Apparently, she decided to keep the hp and not pass to the cab driver (she said in case the cab driver doesn't return to me), and disregarded her sun2 you3 (bad sheep friends)'s advice to keep the hp for herself.

In the end, I picked up the phone from her mahjong kaki's place 'cos they were still very much into the game at like 10pm (after 8 hours!!!!). Bought a nice lookin' big tin of cookies for her... which she accepted without just-for-show-of-courtesy rejection. Ha. But $20 is definitely worth over paying for a new hp! [Special thanks to Jo and parents for the ride... the place is quite ulu man!]

Words of Lukism
Recently, I've been trying to re-read the Gospel of Luke and it has been revealing never-before nuggets of truths to me.

1. Luke 1:15
Speaking of John the Prophet (distant cousin of Jesus), Angel Gabriel told Zacharias (John's dad) that baby (or rather, foetus) John "will be filled with the Holy Spirit while yet in his mother's womb." I wonder if we can pray for non-John prophets babies in this way... wouldn't it be so cool? :)

2. Luke 1:37
Akin to Adidas' latest tagline - Impossible is Nothing, this verse sorta overrode the commonly quoted 'With God, all things are possible' -- "For nothing will be impossible with God." It's like, Ok, so all things are possible... but not definite. But now, it means, Woah nelly! NOTHING will be impossible! You can't rule out something as impossible... Sounds different to you? Ha, maybe God meant the same thing all along but the latter sure sounds more assuring to me...

3. Luke 3:38
Jesus' lineage was ultimately linked back to God after dozens of generations. "Jesus ... being ... the son of God." Which made me think of the importance of being righteous, because blessings / curses follow to the descendants forever (Deut 28:45)?

4. Luke 6:10
Healing of the man with a withered right hand on Sabbath. What struck me most about this story is the moment that Jesus was healing the man. "He said to him, 'Stretch out your hand!' And he did so; and is hand was restored."

Notice the order of the healing: Jesus commanded; man responded in faith by stretching it out; and then healing was completed. I wondered, if the man did not stretch out his hand... would it still be healed and straightened anyway? I doubt it.

Something we talked about in cell a few days ago - God gives us opportunities (to change our temper, to be victorious over temptations, to serve Him, etc)... He doesn't just wave a magic wand and change us to be perfect. Lost opportunities? Dread so.

A frustrating night. :(