l| a time to be silent and a time to speak |l

Reflective

It's always during this year-end period that people become more reflective. It's like the end of a financial year, when the balance sheet is drawn and the debit/credit columns are balanced (or unbalanced, as always was the case when i did POA in sec sch!).

Just received a mass e-mail from an ex-colleague who resides in NZ. In it, she recounted her life during the past year since she left us (and i was thinking, oh my! it has been a year since she left??). In comparison, mine is like ... a one-page bank statement? A few in-s and a couple of out-s. (Hers can be likened to a five-page bank statement with a string of deposits and withdrawals.)

No wonder people are afraid of ageing. Not really about the wrinkles, i think. More about losing time to complete that Life Checklist. Imagine a balance with time on one end, and to-dos on the other. Time evaporates constantly while the list of to-dos add on regularly. Life seems to be about keeping that balance ... balanced?

Sitting in that chair in the hair salon today (I dyed my hair! - red dye mixed with a bit of grey to play down the red - er, but looks black still!), I contemplated. What do I want to accomplish in the next 12 months that I, assumingly, have?

Hard-boiled, I told myself. Not half-boiled nor 3/4 cooked, but it has to be hard-boiled. Bring things to completion. Finish it. Even if it means soaking in the hot water until it rises to 100 degrees Celsius. So that when the shell is cracked, the egg will be sufficiently well-formed to stay in the shape of that shell-mould instead of being mashed up like humtey-dumtey. (Furthermore, considering that I do not have an army of king's men nor a stable of king's horses to help, I better not be raw and sit on the wall.)

"What would your life be like if it turned out fine?"