l| a time to be silent and a time to speak |l

fR@zZLed

Wahz.. have been so tired. So many things to do, but so little time. Pressed on all sides, expectations to fulfil, dreams to chase after, God's will to be done... Things to think about, things to forget. My new colleague is on a 3-month contract, and it has just been 1 month but she has expressed thoughts of leaving after the contract's up. She's overwhelmed by the things she has to do and the deadlines she has to meet. I think we just have to learn to take it easy in this job... Just saw a capitalisation error in the already published book which i'm supposed to send it to the copyright owner of the extract we've used. And the error has to be in the copyright line of that extract!!! How frustrating. No wonder this job kills fast. And it's cultivating an insane obsession with details. and like what my colleague said at a restaurant... don't proofread the menu!! I think they just can't help it (btw, quite a few errors on Pastamania's table menu... or so spotted by that same colleague).

I wonder what blow i had suffered when i was young to have cultivated a sense of low self-esteem in me. I just remembered lately that when i was in Primary 6, i filled in the six choices with neighbourhood sec schools. I based my choices on proximity, uniform?, where my brother was and probably friends' choices. But i also remembered that despite studying pretty hard (and actually going to EPB bookstore on my own and buying those crappy test papers to practise in class during our free periods while my friends were busy playing! GeekO~), i hear myself saying I wouldn't get into those good schools (haha, and even the definition of good schools were at best, Crescent Gals'). When the results were released, I realised that i could have gotten into CG, but it was too late to appeal. In fact, i tried but only to hear my principal say, "Why go into such a competitive school where you may be among the average or below average, when you can be among the best in the less competitive school?" Thought his bull**** made sense then, but on reflection, it was just something that a person who is supposed to build up a child shouldn't have said. Teaching, i shall reiterate, is a calling. Don't enter into it if you can't live through it with a clear conscience and a wise mind to know what you are doing to the kids. So anyway, i entered into a school which i hated initially. It was my first choice simply because.... i thought the chances of entering into it were slim. Haha.